I’m Gonna Wash Your Mouth Out With Hand Sanitizer, says a schoolteacher

It happens to most new parents…
“No one is more cautious than a first-time parent. After our daughter was big enough to ride on the back of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier with a seat belt and got her a little helmet.

The day of the first ride I put her in the seat, double-checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to the end of the driveway, carefully looked both ways and, swinging my leg up over the crossbar, accidentally kicked her right in the chin. ”
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When my kid was 4 months old, my purse slid off my shoulder and hit her in the head in her carrier. She had a red mark on her forehead but she barely fussed. Just lucky I missed her soft spot or I could be raising a much worse demon spawn now.
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Um, NO, Amazon…
I have no desire to pay for things with a wave of my handprint.
That is such a bad idea, I mean, people will be cutting off rich folks’ hands to go shopping. And in Trump’s America, people walking around with severed hands probably wouldn’t even be a crime.
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Seagulls…
Playing with a dildo.
That is all.
https://gizmodo.com/here-are-some-gulls-playing-with-a-dildo-1841837955?utm_source=gizmodo_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2020-02-22
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Yes, a toy Tesla Cybertruck.
Cos the real thing isn’t ugly enough in full size.
Least they got shattered windows right.
https://gizmodo.com/hot-wheels-made-a-mini-tesla-cybertruck-complete-with-b-1841836066?utm_source=gizmodo_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2020-02-22
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I will be avoiding youtube during the week of the election. I have an aversion to Cheeto orange asshats comandeering the top of my page.
https://gizmodo.com/youtube-will-look-like-ass-on-election-day-reportedly-1841834955?utm_source=gizmodo_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2020-02-22
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And FYI,
I feel that way about the non orange politicians, too.
Politics make me ill. Just say no.
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This quote.
“Ideally, you really don’t want racists working in any position where they have to interact with the general public regularly.”
Um…are Americans really that obliviou to the fact one of the biggest racists on the planet is president?
Something about a racist judge and thousands of court cases now under review. One more day in MAGA country.
https://www.theroot.com/a-racist-judge-an-alleged-affair-and-n-word-laced-text-1841854783?utm_source=gizmodo_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2020-02-22
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I have my Hero Of The Week.
Ten year old boy who asked for donations to a cat rescue ‘cafe’ instead of birthday gifts for himself, raised $500. Outstanding, little dude.
https://www.channel3000.com/boy-donates-birthday-money-to-cat-cafe/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
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And this is where tech turns 2020 into a page straight out of Orwell.

California Cops Are Collecting Info on Millions of Drivers Who Have Done Nothing Wrong

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I’m not sure…
what little girl decides one day she is going to be strong enough to bend skillets in half but here she is as an adult…
https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/fitness/watch-this-woman-bend-8-frying-pans-in-half-like-its-nothing-in-this-viral-video/ar-BB10fEe6?li=BBnbfcL&utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
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Original article, meh
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/vaccine-bill-new-illinois-bill-aims-to-remove-religious-exemptions-for-vaccines-in-state/?fbclid=IwAR0euQqXbWCG9P0JuV5-cwfw89D_3lNvmJKoUlCAVCgnODsKO7j_5RXQ6dY&utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
Fark user headline-dead on. I live in the most corrupt state in the country.
“Illinois bill aims to remove religious exemptions to vaccination, although certain things can still be done if you discreetly slide your state legislator an envelope full of cash.”
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Whack a doodle middle school teacher washes misbehaving student’s mouth out with…hand sanitizer. What the actual fuck? Fire that crazy bitch and put her ass in jail or a rubber room.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/education/2020/02/20/florida-teacher-suspended-using-hand-sanitizer-students-mouth/4822427002/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
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Scammer nets $81,000 getting people to mail cash for virus removal of their computers…
https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2020/02/21/fedex-packages-with-81000-lead-hillsborough-detectives-to-scam-run-from-motel-room/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
FUCK ME, I can’t even get my friends to have fundraiser so I can pay my power bill and keep the lights on to the tune of $500 and this douche gets people to send him $81,000? I guess I just lack the charisma to inspire people to help and I have a conscience so I can’t be a scammer. Well, FUCK.