Forget snakes on a plane…
Snakes in a pillow case outside a fire department.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/18/uk/snakes-pillowcases-fire-station-gbr-scli-intl/index.html?utm_source=CNN+Five+Things&utm_campaign=dd914c42fa-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2020_02_19_05_41&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6da287d761-dd914c42fa-96359689
This sickens me, as I am a snake lover and only a monster would leave those poor creatures to the elements that way.
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Seems this is the week of the snake…
Snake orgy. Kid you not.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/15/us/florida-park-snake-orgy-trnd/index.html
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Never enough blonde jokes…
There once was a magic mirror which would kill you if you lied to it.
One day a brunette was doing her makeup and said to herself, “I think I’m the smartest woman ever!” She immediately dropped dead.
The next day a redhead was doing her hair and said to herself, “I think I’m the prettiest woman alive!” She immediately dropped dead.
Finally, the following day, a blond was flossing her teeth. She stopped and said to herself, “I think…,” and dropped dead.
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Always nice to know the president of the land of the free personally calls up homophobes to tell them not to apologize for their offensive tirades.
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And everyone tells me to get with the times and update to Windows 10. Not until they pry Win 7 out of my cold dead hands.
https://www.howtogeek.com/658194/windows-10s-new-update-is-deleting-peoples-files-again/
I got my kid a netbook with Windows 10 and it’s still in the repair shop 5 months later.
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THIS QUOTE! LMFAO!
Elizabeth Warren Exists
“Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, an evil, pumpkin-colored king named Dottard Grump ruled the land.”
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OMG, this could be a game changer for someone like me if I could afford it…
I am infamous for keen ability to strip down TVs and such to individual pieces for reuse or discard. BUT because of my mental health issues/brain damage causing short term memory problems, I CANNOT be trusted to reassemble things properly. This handy dandy thing would allow me to track-and write- where what screws/etc came from which part of what I disassemble. It would be nirvana for me, considering how much DIY I must attempt as a single mom.
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LAME, Seth, especially for latenight TV
“A cellist in Oregon was arrested after police found over 100 pounds of marijuana in his car trunk. Thankfully, when they pulled him over, he didn’t resort to violins.” -Seth Meyers
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Methinks something is rotten in the state of Denmark…
Or Gordan Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, anyway. I cannot fathom how he comes into EVERY single restaurant over 7 years and tests the menu and yet every item is ‘disgusting’. He’s not even that harsh on the contestants of Hell’s Kitchen.
But bitching and moaning and swearing and making other people feel belittled sells more TV ad space, I guess.
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I am not saying Ramsay is nice to his HK contestants, by any means. But he doesn’t call them out for their food, without also focusing on something in their appearance or history or intelligence that further belittles them. I think, “You’re cooking is shit I wouldn’t feed my dog” suffices. No need to add on, “You’re a fat piece of shit, this is disgusting, I wouldn’t feed it to my dog.”
Appearance has zilch to do with culinary skills, one would think such a renowned chef would knot that.
Petty meanness sells, I guess.
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Vampire planned wedding, anyone
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8017065/Vampire-couple-launch-event-planning-business-throw-weird-weddings.html?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
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$2,500 a month to Tweet and text Bloomberg’s praises…
sounds as legit as Trump impeachment being acquitted.
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/02/bloomberg-paying-private-citizens-2500-a-month-to-text-and-tweet-his-praises-from-their-personal-social-media-accounts/?utm_source=&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=3775
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Beautifully Random Stuff 