This is both bizarre and yet beautiful. Name a cockroach after your ex and watch an animal eat it for Valentine’s Day.
You’d think it was something my warped mind came up with.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/09/us/san-antonio-zoo-cockroach-valentines-day-trnd/index.html?utm_source=CNN+Five+Things&utm_campaign=ca7b37bfa3-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2020_02_10_02_54&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6da287d761-ca7b37bfa3-96359689
———
Too bad my insurance wouldn’t pay for one of these to ‘cure’ my seasonal depression. The doctors do say it is all about getting more sunlight.
https://gizmodo.com/mitsubishi-s-fake-led-skylights-simulate-sunlight-to-ma-1841573763?utm_source=gizmodo_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2020-02-10
——–
Forget the article…It was worth just reading this blurb.
President Trump, like most IG “models,” refuses to admit that he doesn’t wake up this naturally orange. We all know that his daily makeup routine includes, at the very least, painting his face with decayed coyote blood.
LMFAO. Hey, when I was a teenager people used to say I put my make up on with a steamroller so learn to laugh at yourself or stop stealing Chester Cheetah’s orange hue.
——-
Tonight’s episode of 9-1-1:Lone Star
will have the crew putting out a fire at a bull semen factory.
Come for the appearance of Rob Lowe.
Bad pun? I suck.
——-
The groin groomer…
I can never tell if these ads are satire or someone really has created testicle firming lotions.
https://www.manscaped.com/?utm_source=tv_guide_watch_this&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=email_inclusions&utm_term=prospecting&utm_content=m&ftag=NLS-04-10aaa1a
——————–
Dose of AWWWW bordering on cuteness overdose…
pics of kittens hanging out in pockets.
https://www.cuteness.com/13723825/17-kittens-hanging-out-in-pockets?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=021020&c_crid=cta1
————
Kinda funny, comparing cat poses to wrongly assembled Ikea furniture.
https://www.cuteness.com/13723804/people-are-comparing-cats-to-incorrectly-assembled-ikea-furniture-we-cant-stop-loling?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=021020&c_crid=headline5
———
Watching Kitchen Nightmares introduced me to the disgusting (to me) term, gastropub.A gastropub (sometimes referred to as a gastrolounge or in the United States as a gastrobar) is a hybrid pub, bar and restaurant, notable for serving beer, wine and food.
To me, it sounds like some kind of stomach shrinking surgery or stomach pumping procedure. Just…ewww.
-=——-
A random joke, anyone?
AN OLDER WOMAN runs into her friend at the mall. “You’re not going to believe this,” she said. “I found an old lamp the other day. I rubbed it and a genie popped out. He explained that genies don’t give three wishes anymore, but he did offer me a choice between one of two wishes. He could give me a better memory or turn my husband into the greatest lover ever.”
“Tough choice,” said her friend. “Which one did you choose?”
“That’s the thing. I can’t remember.”
————-
another reason not to text and drive
Have you ever heard someone described as having a pole up their ass? Usually it means uptight, stuck-up or snobbish, but in the case of this story it means the woman was a bad driver, because she ended up with a pole stuck up her ass.
The Colorado woman says she was texting and driving when she hit a pole that went through her car, piercing her thigh and buttocks.
Read the rest of the story at: http://www.bizarrenews.com.
——-
Because FLORIDA
Who brings a machete to McDonald’s?
A Florida man is in critical condition after he was attacked by another man with a machete. Pinellas Park Police responded to the McDonald’s around 11 p.m. after they were called about a fight. They say two men who knew each other got into an altercation and a man, later identified as Devin Quarterman, hit the other with a machete. The victim was taken to a local hospital where he is listed in critical condition. Quarterman ran away from the McDonald’s but police were able to arrest him the following day. Quarterman is charged with attempted first-degree murder, according to Pinellas Park Police.
——–
Too cute
wildlife photography award
https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/wildlife-photographer-peoples-choice-winner-scli-gbr-intl/index.html?utm_source=CNN+Five+Things&utm_campaign=b5a9c0d85c-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2020_02_12_01_34&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6da287d761-b5a9c0d85c-96359689
——
https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/11/americas/piano-fazioli-smashed-movers-intl-scli/index.html?utm_source=CNN+Five+Things&utm_campaign=b5a9c0d85c-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2020_02_12_01_34&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6da287d761-b5a9c0d85c-96359689
And I was mortified the time I waited tables and spilled water on a lady’s $40 purse!
—————-
Interesting tech science…
https://gizmodo.com/developer-finds-usb-chargers-have-as-much-processing-po-1841598560?utm_source=gizmodo_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2020-02-11
————
All you never wanted to know about male mongoose anal pads and testicle size.
https://gizmodo.com/mongooses-stink-less-have-bigger-balls-after-invading-1841569197?utm_source=gizmodo_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2020-02-11
—————–
This paragraph alone makes me wish I enjoyed video games cos it sounds crazy fun.
The only thing in Dead Cells’ latest expansion that gives me more pleasure than cleaving giant mutated fungi in half with a humongous scythe is having my own mushroomed companion fling itself at them with abandon and then explode upon impact.
https://kotaku.com/dead-cells-latest-expansion-makes-a-good-thing-so-much-1841598332?utm_source=gizmodo_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2020-02-11
========
Did people really need a crystal ball to know that Porsche’s EV would outperform Tesla’s EV and Tesla’s would be more affordable? I mean, this is just a case where the brand name alone says…well, everything relevant.
https://jalopnik.com/car-and-drivers-test-between-the-porsche-taycan-and-tes-1841577600?utm_source=gizmodo_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2020-02-11
—————-
Beautifully Random Stuff 